Bubble Gum Kisses

**Kapittel 16** ***Vanessa***

**"Dad!"** I shouted for dad, and I found myself opening my eyes. My vision was quite blurry, and I could barely see anything. It rendered me to get into a state of unmerited confusion. Dad? Where was he? Where was I? What was

happening?!

I groaned when I felt my head begin to ache. Grabbing my head, I pulled on my scalp when I felt the pain worsen as moments passed. My head felt like there was a myriad of nails being hammered into my cranium. It was excruciatingly painful that I was on the verge of tears. "Stop! Make it stop!" I screamed in agony, beginning to hit my head with my knuckle. My nerves were pulsating, and my teeth were clenched as I whimpered.

It took me a few more moments of crying until my headache subsided, and my vision gradually became clear enough that I realized I was on my bed, panting. All sweaty yet cold. Awake and terrified. I blankly stared at my pallid wrists saturated with fresh tears, resting on my lap covered with my comforter, musing about what just happened.

What was that just earlier? Was it all just a dream? No, that was no dream. That was a nightmare. A horrendous one.

I balled my hands into fists as I slowly recalled what was in that nightmare. The enveloping darkness. The peace. The shining figure. Dad's face. Dad...

"I'm so sorry, dad." I broke down, covering my face to fetch another round of my restless tears. I had moments wherein I'd be happy/distracted enough to forget about him. But it'd always come back to me in unexpected ways, but the most prominent of them all was through haunting dreams.

Ever since he died, I had been restless. I couldn't take a sound sleep since I was haunted by nightmares and couldn't go back to sleep because I became scared of them coming back again. Those horrific ephialtes endlessly flashed the scenes I'd most lovingly forget. The more I tried to ignore them, the more they would repeatedly flash in my mind like a broken cassette tape. It would render me to just lay in bed, hopeless.

I would then begin thinking about little things and matters which led to another and another. In the end, I would find myself still awake while the sun took its breadth of the crisp dawn. I couldn't control my running rumbling thoughts that suddenly went from a tiny matter and would soon turn dark for no reason. Not to mention, my uncontrollable mood that sometimes made me separate logic from my emotions. I had been experiencing them for the past months before my said recovery, and I thought I might go crazy if it went on. But thank the odds, my degrading mental health was getting better compared to how it was before.

Feeling that I wanted to get out of bed, I got on my feet and stretched, letting out my morning yawn. It felt like waking up after long years of hibernation, but with a mix of gloominess and monotony because of the nightmare earlier. Closing my eyes, I raised my head up and blinked them open. The view of the ceiling welcoming my sight made me smile a little, remembering its state when I returned.

The previous owner may have retained some of its design, but it was dull and grey, adorned by cobwebs and dust that I'd scratch my eyes whenever I looked up to look at its boringly lonely, topsy-turvy state. It may have been unused throughout the years. Cleaning it took me almost an hour and cost me to wear some PPE-like stuff such as goggles, fast masks, etc., with a few sniffs and sneezes. Man, cleaning the entire room was tiring and tedious, but I had fun though. I sat back on my bed to open the curtains. As soon as I set aside the fabrics casting the darkness in my room, I grinned. The view outside the window showed my ideal sight of a lazy, friable morn. The sun wasn't fully up yet, covered by fluffy clouds formed in a stratus deck. The skies were still dark and blue, and there was a light smoke of fog surrounding the area. What a way to set up the mood for some early jog or a cup of coffee and witness the dawn turn into the morning, especially since it was cold right now.

I looked at the clock resting on the nightstand and learned it was still around 4 AM, nearing 5. What an excellent time to take a morning jog and take some things off my mind. Hurriedly, crawled to the other side of the bed, pulled out my fuzzy slippers from the bed, and wore them on. Gosh. As soon as I placed my feet on the thick sliders, I instantly felt warm. I hadn't noticed that I got cold.

I almost shrieked over to the bathroom when I saw my reflection in the mirror attached to the wall. I took a few steps to the sink and leaned towards the reflective whatchamacallit. My blonde locks looked like a bird's nest, my hair strands were going all over different places, and the split ends were parading. My face was as pale as a bloodless cadaver, and what made it look homelier was the dark bags under my eyes and the slight redness of my sclera. My nose was also red, and there was a transparent liquid leaking out of my right nostril. In conclusion, I looked horrible.

Seeing how hideous I looked, I instantly grabbed the towel hanging on the towel rack and prepared myself for my first early morning jog in Scarsendale. I first discovered my love for it when my pals in Washington invited me for a jog at 4 o'clock in the morning. Harley was the one who'd jog the fastest. Second to him were Seandhe and Nikki, and the ones behind them were always Katherine, Jason, and I. Though, Kath was the most active during warm-ups and stretches since she enjoyed stretching from her yoga lessons. She always gave us good suggestions on how to stretch effectively. Jason was the most resourceful and always brought an extra bottle of water, sometimes a portable thermos of warm milk that we could always use to drink post cool down. Now recalling how I did my morning jogs back in Washington made me feel nostalgic and remember those idiots again. My lovable idiots.

A smile ran across my cheeks as I remembered my friends while I washed my face. After that, I brushed my teeth, placed some tinted sunscreen on my face and concealer for my eyebags, then tied my hair into a ponytail. I soon left the bathroom and dressed in my sports bra underneath my track jacket, jogging tights, sneakers, and smartwatch. I checked myself at the vanity mirror one last time before rushing down the pantry with careful steps since my room was found beside mom and Zach's bedroom. I was afraid of waking them up if I walked with my footsteps thumping loudly.

I walked down the pantry to get a glass of water and some aspirin since my head was still aching before inspecting the fridge, where I found that it was half-empty. Probably because mom prepared a lot for the dinner the other night. I should hit the grocery and grab some stuff for breakfast when I return home since I was sure mom would race for ingredients once she woke up.

I went back to my room to grab my pack and stuffed in a few bucks, my cards, and the likes before going outside, where I did a few stretches and warm-ups. I needed to ensure that I won't hurt a muscle when I return, or mom would freak out. The cool breeze blew past me, making me shiver a bit as I stretched an arm. The sun was slowly making it on top of the sky, and the fog was starting to dissipate. I could see that a few of our neighbors were also awake at this hour. An old woman came out of one house while holding a cup of coffee that's earthly scent was invading my nostrils, enchanting me. Another neighbor, a man in his 40s, also came out and began watering her plants with a hose. I closed my eyes and relished in nature's goodness.

"Oh my, Vanessa. It's been a long time, girlie!" a voice chirped. I opened my eyes and looked in the direction where the voice seemed to come from.

"Oh, Mrs. Harbinger," I said, a broad smile running across my face.

She was one of our closest neighbors here in town. An old woman in her prime and her husband, Mr. Harbinger, were sweethearts in the neighborhood since they gave all the kids around some love. I remembered back then when we'd deliberately enter their house, and she would have us make cookies and pastries with her while Mr. Harbinger would take the others out to grab some fruits in their backyard to make juice. We'd all end up parking in their house during brunch with the food we made with them. Her kids had their own respective families and moved out of state 5 years ago.

"You have grown into a fine young woman!"

**

Thank you for reading Bubble Gum Kisses! To keep up with my works, future works, and endless frustrations on Twitter: https://twitter.org/RiosMorpheus**