Denying The Alpha

Faith's point of view

'I'm so sorry. I say to my wolf. I hope she doesn't hate having me as a human. I'm not exactly keeping her away from her mate, he doesn't want me, but I haven't done anything to try and change that either. She must want me too.

I couldn't even reach his wolf. Aw, that makes me so sad for her, I wonder if that's declans doing or his wolf's. Maybe Declans wolf is the one who hates me, but I discard the idea the moment it crosses my mind. Wolves don't reject their mates like that. I wonder how Declan managed to block him.

'I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could do for her. It was extremly weird trying to comfort this other being you share a head with, it's not like you could exactly reach out and hug her or anything.

'It's not your fault. I do want mate. She sounds as torn as I do. We need to get our minds off him.

'You haven't even told me your name.' I really wish I had more time with her.

'It's Sapphire. A swell of pride welled deep inside, pride that I knew was not my own. Will I always be able to feel her emotions so inmintaly? Sapphire, I liked it, it was an unusual name for a wolf and that made it so much more beautiful.

'Do you want me to tell you a little bit about myself?' I feel a little silly for even asking but what else did you talk about to the voice inside your head. It's such a relief I was born into this world, if I was thrust into it the way some abounded wolves were, I would surely go crazy.

I could feel her giggle in my mind, even if was at my expense I was just happy to hear her laugh.

'I'm your wolf silly, your other half, I live inside of you, I already know everything there is to know about you.' That makes sense actually, of course she did.

'By the way, what is with the peanut butter and chocolate cookie obsession, a little gross if you ask me?' She shudders in disgust at the thought of it, she must be crazy, there was nothing better than biting into a double stuffed Oreo that has been dunked into crunchy peanut butter. It was heaven on earth.

'Who names you, do you get to pick your own name, or how does that work?' I was eighteen years old, I have grown up around wolves all my life, how had I never asked this before?

'Our moon mother chooses our names for us, you silly goose! Silly must be my new pet name or something not that I mind, I could feel the affection she has for me just as she could feel mine for her.

'What do you look like?' It was truly killing me that I didn't know.

'You'll have to wait and see. She teases. Aw.

'What are we going to do?' She already knows what I mean about Declan, I knew what I wanted, I wanted him, but I wanted him to come to me, I wouldn't be the one trying to fix anything. However Sapphire was my wolf and he was her mate too, she deserved to have her say and I would listen.

'I won't share mate, we should rip her has off!' I feel her growl rumble through my chest. If I had the energy, it may have even been enough to cause me to shift. I really want to see her, but my room wants the place, I didn't want to tear it apart, so I'm relieved that we don't.

'I won't share him either, but we can't rip her head off.' I scold her, it's hard because I agree. We should rip her head off, but I would only regret hurting her later. She was still my sister. 'Why?' She huffs. Poor cranky thing.

Wolves were very protective and extremely primal beings, so I understand where she's coming, but still it would be wrong. If everyone else could control their wolfish urges, I certainly could too.

'Where do I begin? Because it would hurt Mom and dad, she is my sister, we would at best, be thrown out off the pack and forced to live as rogues for breaking the law and at worst, they could even sentence us to death. Declan loves her and hates us, so he would probably sentence us to death. I told her somberly. It hurt to admit, but facts were facts.

'I hate her.' She grumbles.

'I do too.'

There's a gentle wrap on my door, I freeze thinking it's probably Samantha, that girl needed to get a clue however the smell of cinnamon and spice surrounds me and I know immediately that it's my mother.

"Come in." she pops her head through the door, I can see how uncertain she is and so I smile at her warmly so that she knows she is in fact welcome.

"I noticed breakfast was a little... Quite, do you want to talk about it?" so she did notice. Damn, I thought we had covered it up.

"What do you mean?" I didn't want to hurt her feelings and outright shut her out with a big fat NO, but I didn't want to tell her either. If I told, the choices I made next might be taken out of hands and I didn't want that, I didn't want another person to fight with. I could do this by myself.

"I mean, you, Samantha, and Declan. You are all usually very chatty. You hardly spoke a word, any of you." she narrowed her eyes at me accusingly. She might as well point a finger while she was at it.

"Honestly mom, I'm just tired. I don't feel like myself and I was worried when I couldnt talk to my wolf at breakfast. My mind was elsewhere. As for Samantha and Declan, I don't know what the heck was up with those two." I shrug, I hated lying to my mom. I hope she does confront Samantha, she would never tell my mom what was happening, but at the very least, it would make her uncomfortable too.

"Are you sure?" I can tell she wants to believe me, but that she's a little hesitant.

"Yes momma, I'm sure." I pull her in for a hug, I squeeze her as tight as I can and place a kiss on her cheek. I appreciated the hell out of that woman, she was always there for me and we had always been incredibly close.

We were almost best friends my mother and me. We looked alike in many ways. We were close to the same height save for a few centimetres. We both had the same long curly chestnut brown hair and our eyes were the same shape, the colour was different tho. Samantha and my mother both had apple green eyes, whereas I got my brown eyes from my father. She was a tad more conservative, but we even dressed smiliar. She was very edgy for a mom.

I let her go despite the fact that I felt like I could hold onto her forever. She always made me feel better, she didn't even have to try.

There was so much uncertainty in her eyes when she stared back at me.

"Mom really I promise."

"If you are sure."

I smile at her warmly, I pour every once of love that I can into it.

"Yes." I say as I usher her gently out of the door. I love that women.

I really was tired. I changed quickly into my pajamas and threw my hair into a messy half-cocked bun. It didn't matter what I looked like while I was here alone in my room. I only bothered to dress nicely for breakfast because I knew how much it would upset that bastard Declan. I curled up warm and safe in my blanket. I would sleep as much as I could. When I wake up tonight, I want to have the energy to let Sapphire out. It didn't take me long to fall asleep, but when I did, I dreamed of the grey wolf.