My Sister's Boyfriend

I bit my lip, looking away from him and tightening the sheet closer to me. Knowledge also flooded me. As well as souvenirs. The hurt, the anger, the resentment, the hatred, the injustice. All I had to endure. My moments of babysitting, of jealousy. Of Igor's childishness. Of my idiocy. From the last few weeks. Everything. And I found myself torn. I looked at him again and saw almost dread hidden in his eyes. I sat up in bed, squeezing the sheet and feeling my hair messed up. He ran his hands through my hair, tucking a few strands behind my ear. Mirroring me and biting my lip. Both afraid. Waiting for my reaction. But I didn't know what to do. I picked up the pizza with trembling hands, and bit it lightly. "You can eat. - he said, his voice fading.

- Malu, I...

"Eat with me." I held out the pizza, not wanting to cry now, or something. Postponing the moment of conversation. Of worries. Igor flashed a sad but speculative smile and started eating along with me.

We ate quietly, slowly. And I was surprised by my morning appetite. Igor couldn't eat without staring at me, and he ate much less than I did. When we were done, he left with the trays. And I took the opportunity to go to the laundromat and pick up my clothes, already dry.

I didn't go back to the room, it was one more attack on my sanity. I found Igor washing the dishes, still in his shorts. That wasn't quite a pair of shorts. It was more like a samba song. Totally out of context, that muscular man, doing the dishes. I controlled the impulse to go there and glue myself to those backs. I bit my finger anxiously. He turned, noticing my presence, let out a loud sigh. And he dropped the cloth in the sink.

"I need some time. I blurted out point-blank.

"It's breaking up with me. He stated

"There wasn't a courtship.

"There was love, it's a commitment. The strongest of all.

"I'm sorry. "I really felt more than I should have.

- Don't finish me, Malu. Please...

"It's just a time to think. I felt my eyes flood with tears, but I didn't cry. I stood firm, letting reason speak louder.

- How much time do you need? How many minutes? More than minutes without you I can't take it anymore. I've wasted a lot of time without you. "I haven't forgotten, you know?"

"You forgot, you forgot along with me. He forgot everything and stayed with me.

"But now I remembered. And it hurts.

"I know, forgive me for hurting you. But don't get any further away from me. I love you. I'm yours, you're mine... Literally. He smiled, and I rolled my eyes. "I'll call you later." Before I could turn around, Igor hugged me. Picking me up and sitting on the couch. Hugging me.

"I won't let you go. - he whispered in my ear.

"Just because I'm going, doesn't mean I won't come back.

"You're going to leave, you're not coming back. But it's going to stay inside of me. That's not enough. Nothing is enough without you.

"Everyone needs to think. And remember. And I need to remember if I still want to be with you. If that's what's best for me. It's normal to want that. You know...

I enjoyed the hug and then released his fingers from me one by one. I turned to him, looking into his eyes and kissed his lips quickly. I read the message from his lips, and controlled a smile. "Minutes". But minutes turn into years, I wanted to say, but I kept quiet. So I got up and left. Closing the door gently on your way out. I was kind of in shock. Remembering everything again. Rereading our history for memories. From the moment we met. I took a cab without really thinking. And within 15 minutes I was home again. I sat down on the couch in the living room and thought again. Hugging a pillow.

"Are you there yet?" I looked up and saw my mother, looking at me curiously.

-Obvious.

- Igor the tee?

"I took a taxi.

"Did something happen?" "My mother's interest wasn't helping me. I just wanted to be alone. Just with myself. Was it so hard to notice? I know I could go to my room, but I didn't want to go upstairs and see my single bed and compare it to Igor's double bed.

-No.

-Are you sure? I'm your mother, you can talk to me about anything and...

-I know! It's okay. It just leaves me alone a little bit, okay? I forced a smile at her, and she stroked my hair.

"I don't say that. It's been a long time since I've said that, dear. And I know it's wrong. But I love you. I love you so much, daughter.

- I love you too, Mom. I hugged her, feeling a few tears falling. Why is mom's smell so good? And so soothing? Liberator.

We heard the bell and embarrassed, we got up together

"I'll take it. "We talk together, and we laugh. I ended up being faster and running into Igor at my door. My hair was messy and it looked like I had walked or run the marathon.

-Eeyore? What do you do here? "Then he kissed me right there, at the door of the house. In front of my mom. I looked at him wide-eyed. And I turned to my mother, who laughed lightly. -License.

I closed the door, pushed him to the sidewalk. Confused and surprised. Crossing your arms. I waited until he spoke.

"I said I could hold out for a few minutes, didn't I?" I've been here for about 15 minutes, pacing back and forth, every second a martyrdom. You know how I get over the top, mad, more than I should be, for a certain girl. That's in front of me. And well... It's been exactly 59 minutes since you left. I said, "I can hold on for a few minutes." Not an hour without you. Remember that?

"I have a good memory. I ran my hands through my hair, confused. And kind of delighted. Gee, why does he have to say these cute things? Afz.

"yes, you have a good memory.

"And now you have yours too."

- Beautiful indirect. He laughed lightly, still looking at me, arms crossed.

-How?

"I want to lose my memory again. Just so you can be with you.

-I... Not me...

"I was stupid. And I paid for it. I think... I deserve to suffer more and everything else. I suffer, Malu. Suffer. He beats me, curses me, mistreats me. He does whatever he wants. It's just still with me. -Eeyore...

"I love you. And I just want to have you. Again and...