SWNOVELS Chapter 219
Chapter 219
Chapter 69: Kylee
“Kylee, it’s normal to be experiencing these emotions in situations like this,” Dr. Whitham said as I paced the room. “I’m here to help you work through them.”
I checked my watch. We still had twenty minutes left in the session, but I really wasn’t sure I could make it through. I pinched the bridge of my nose with a heavy sigh.
“I know,” I finally replied. “But honestly, I think I need a little more time to brood. You did say it was important to feel my feelings so I could understand them better.”
“That is true,” she agreed. “If you believe you need a little time with your thoughts before moving past this, then we can reschedule for a better time. But I advise you not to make any decisions or take any actions because of those feelings. The outcome may not be a good one.”
I nodded as I grabbed my purse. “I know. Thank you, Dr. Whitham.”
I left the office and headed to the parking lot. I climbed into the driver‘ s seat of my car, resting my head against the headrest as I stared at the ceiling.
I had managed to scrape together a down payment for the sedan and bought it earlier that week. I had actually felt a sense of pride when I drove it off the lot that day. It wasn’t anything special. It was ten years old and had fifty thousand miles too many on it, but it was mine. I had gotten all on my own.
I had wanted so badly to call and tell Ayla about it. Thinking about
how proud of me she would have been. But I stopped myself before dialing her number. Because she wouldn’t be proud of me. At least, not in the same way she used to be. I felt that ever–present guilt pang again, but I didn’t let it ruin my moment completely.
That was another great moment for me that week. I allowed myself to feel pride in myself for the accomplishment. I may have made a lot of mistakes, but this was one thing I did right. It’s something Ayla would want me to be proud of. And it made me understand her a lot better.
But then she called this morning.
I was home with Ma when the call came in and she told us she was
pregnant.
So many emotions hit me all at once.
Excitement. Happiness. Pride. Relief. But then there was disappointment. Shame. Jealousy.
I am happy for her and Theo. That I can honestly say. I’ve worked through a lot the past couple of months and I realize now just how wrong Theo and I were for each other. The delusion I had of him and me together disappeared and I no longer see him romantically.
But I’m still not a part of their lives.
I still don’t get to be there for Ayla. I won’t get to be Auntie Kylee. I’m still not welcome back home. I’m going to miss out on so much. And all for so little.
I was still wallowing in the car when my phone buzzed. I checked the message. It was from Derek. He was asking to see me yet again. I looked at my phone, then towards my therapist’s office, then back at my phone.
“Screw it.”
I sent a brief reply and pulled out of the parking spot.
Derek didn’t live far away, so it wasn’t long before I was knocking on his door. He was surprised to see me, but at least I knew it was a pleasant one.
“Well, this is an unexpe…”
“Shut up.”
I wasn’t there to talk. I pushed into his apartment and yanked the front of his shirt. His lips slammed into mine and he responded quickly and eagerly. I kicked the door shut behind me right before his hands moved to my ass and he picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. His tongue sought mine and I met him happily. My back hit the wall as my hand moved between us. He inhaled sharply as it slipped beneath his waistband and slid around his cock.
He was impressive, at least.
I stroked him as he set me down on the hallway table. He stripped me bare from the waist down in less than a second. His teeth bit at my ear as he pushed two fingers inside me, making me moan as he found my clit. It felt good but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what I wanted.
I pushed his hand away and positioned him at my entrance, tightening my legs around his waist. He thrust into me hard and rough, immediately adopting a grueling pace. I was getting close to my release when he suddenly pulled out. My whimper was cut off by him yanking me off the table and spinning me around. His hand fisted my hair and he pushed me forward before ramming back into me again. Reaching around, he worked my clit bringing me to the edge again. Lifting my hips, my orgasm washed over me as I cried out. He growled against my back as he stiffened behind me with one last thrust.
We stood there panting for a few moments.
“Well,” Derek breathed heavily. “That was a pleasant surprise.”
He finally pulled out of me and covered my exposed body with a blanket from the couch nearby. Now that I was calming down, my brain kicked in again. I clenched my jaw as I realized I just did exactly what my therapist advised me not to do. I quickly picked up my pants and slipped them back on.
“I have to go,” I mumbled. “Sorry.”
He grabbed my arm. “Wait a minute,” he insisted. “Hold on. What are you talking about?”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I shouldn’t have come here. It was stupid. I just need to go.”
He held firm. “Kylee, what’s wrong? What is going on? Talk to me.”
“It’s nothing. I just… I just made a mistake.”
He pulled me over to the couch and sat me down, sitting in front of me and holding my hands.
“Something’s wrong, Kylee,” he urged. “You can tell me.”
I closed my eyes. “It’s stupid,” I said quietly. “I just got some news this morning and it kind of hit me hard.”
“That’s not good,” he replied. “What kind of news?”
“I found out my sister is pregnant.