SWNOVELS When He Desires: Chapter 22
It’s a frigid morning in Darkwater Hollow, but the temperature inside my truck feels even colder.
Blake glowers at me from the passenger seat as I pull into the lot outside my office.
“You’re very pushy, do you know that?” she snaps.
“It’s just for a few days.”
“I can’t believe you’re dragging me to work with you. I’m not a little kid.”
“Trust me, I’m aware,” I grumble.
We argued for thirty minutes this morning until she finally relented and agreed to come with me to the office. Seeing her so fired up made me want to tie her up, gag her, and give her a good spanking. Blake’s stubborn, but I’ve got over a decade of experience negotiating with stubborn Italians. Even she’s no match for that.
“I told you I can handle my godfather.”
“He’s our godfather now.”
She gives me a confused look. “What?”
“As in, he’s now my problem as much as he is yours. I don’t want to risk him showing up to see you at my place while I’m not there. It’s a liability.”
“Isn’t me hovering around your place of work also a liability? What if I spill coffee on an important document? Or jam the printer? Or—”
“Babe, just don’t do any of those things and we’ll be fine.”
“Babe?”
I park the car, turn off the ignition, and turn to her. She’s looking at me with alarm.
“We’re dating, remember? We’re in love. Do people look at each other like that when they’re in love? No, they don’t. So stop it.”
Her eyes narrow. “How am I looking at you?”
“Like you wish you’d thrown me into the fire and left me locked inside your house.”
“Too soon. Not funny,” she says, but her lips twitch slightly.
I poke her cheek. “You’re smiling. Now come here and give me a kiss.”
“What!?”
It seems my tactic for getting Lyle off her mind is working. She’s so comically aghast that I can’t help but laugh. You’d think I told her to climb onto my lap and grind against my dick. “We need to practice. You have to kiss me at the office.”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t.”
“That’s what couples do with each other. They touch, they kiss, they—”
She makes a crossing motion with her arms. “I’m anti-PDA. It’s yuck. Gross.”
I arch a brow. “Seriously? How old are you again?”
“Look, making out at your work is not something I’m comfortable with,” she says emphatically.
I sigh. “It’s going to be hard to make the town believe we’re dating if you’re anti-PDA.”
She purses her lips, clearly conflicted. Finally, she relents. “I can kiss your cheek. That’s it. The rest… I need some time to build up to it.”
I turn my face. “Fine. Do it then.”
She makes a small ahem and gives me a peck with her ridiculously soft lips. And it’s just so fucking…cute. Something swells inside my chest.
“Happy?” she asks shyly.
“Overjoyed. You really sold it. I could feel you want to tear my clothes off.”
She reddens. “That’s not— What— Um—”
I press my palm over her mouth, cutting off her flustered stammer. “I’m joking, Sunshine. C’mon. I’ve got a call in ten minutes I’d like to be on time for.”
We get out of the car. The day started off foggy, but some sun is starting to peek out from behind the clouds.
As we approach the front door, I intertwine our fingers. “Ready?”
Blake stares up at me, and she looks so determined. It’s like she’s about to walk into a bar fight instead of a sleepy five-person office. “Let’s do this.”
I snicker. “C’mon, Rambo.”
The Handy Heroes office smells like strong coffee and fresh bagels. When Sandro and I bought the business, we also took over the lease. The space itself is nothing special—just a rectangular open area with four desks and my office in the back—but I’ve gotten used to it. As have the employees who have been here for over a decade under the previous owner. In fact, all three of them told us they would only stay if we kept the office in the same location.
People hate change. I get it.
“Morning, everyone. This is my girlfriend, Blake. She’s going to be helping me out here for a few days.”
Our estimator, Judy, peers at us over her half-moon glasses. “Blake, did you say?”
“It’s Blake Wolfe,” Arnie barks from where he’s standing by the printer. “You know, Valerie’s kid.”
Judy adjusts her glasses. “Oh, is that right? Come here, dear. My eyesight’s not what it used to be. Let me look at you.”
I let go of Blake’s hand and nudge her forward. She throws me a nervous look before walking over to Judy.
The two of them chat while I go to pour myself a coffee at the small kitchenette. Arnie appears beside me, his curly gray hair sticking out in every possible direction. I’m convinced the man has never met a comb. “She’s a nice girl. Hardworking. Honest. Not your type.”
I grab a mug off the shelf. “She’s definitely my type.”
He tsks and lifts the jug of coffee, pouring it for me. “You know what happened with her and the mayor’s son, right? My heart just broke for her.”
“Don’t be a gossip, Arnie.”
“I’m just saying, she’s been through enough as is this year. First her mom passed, then the breakup, and now that fire at her house. She seems tough—well, she’s had to be, hasn’t she?—but we all have our limits. I’m not sure how well she’d handle another heartbreak.”
Something uneasy settles inside my gut. Blake has been through a lot.
And that fire was all me.
But I’m fixing it, aren’t I? I’m going to make that house look brand-new. She’s going to get a better offer on it after I’m done, and one day, she’ll think that fire was actually a bit of good luck.
Do you even hear yourself?
I bury the unease away and move to change the topic. “Where’s Pete?”
“At home. Stomach problems.”
“Again? What do we need to do to stop that man from eating dairy?”
“I already switched to lactose-free everything over here. Next, we’ll have to sneak into his house and swap the milk out of his fridge while he sleeps.”
“Good plan. Put it on my calendar. Something must be done. He can’t keep missing days. Our projects won’t plan themselves.”
Arnie takes a sip of his coffee. “You remember you have that tile lady coming today at noon? She called ten minutes ago to say she’ll be bringing lunch. I thought you two were going to go to Frostbite for your meeting.”
Damn it. “I told her I didn’t have time to go out. I was hoping we could keep the meeting to a half hour.” The rep from Wonder Tiles can be a pain in the ass.
Arnie shrugs. “Good luck.”
I look over at Blake. She’s still talking to Judy. Does she want coffee? Probably. I pour her a cup and take it to her.
Her eyes light up when I hand her the mug. “Oh, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Judy glances between the two of us. “What’s Blake going to be helping you with today?”
“Well, Pete’s out again.”
“Ah, yes, the poor dear.”
“I was thinking Blake can organize the materials for the meetings Sam and I have tomorrow. Can you walk her through it?”
“Sure,” Judy says with a smile.
“I’ll be in my office, Sunshine. Knock if you need anything.” When I lean forward and press a kiss to Blake’s forehead, Judy makes a small gasp.
“Okay.” Blake looks flustered as I pull away. She gives me a shaky smile. “Good luck with your call, honey.”
My heart skips a beat. Oh fuck, I like that. I like that a lot.
I force a grin to hide my slightly bewildered expression. “Yep. Thanks.”
In my office, I take a seat behind my desk and press my palms against my face. Fuck, what’s wrong with me? Sometimes she makes me feel like a teenage boy, and it’s fucking unsettling.
I drop my hands and lean back in my chair, staring at the computer monitor as it boots up.
This is when it usually hits—the gnawing anxiety, the feeling of something being off. It’s not that I hate this job, but every morning I come here, lock the door behind me, and hear my stepdad’s voice echoing in my mind.
You don’t belong here. You will never belong here. You’re a made man, through and through. It’s in your blood, in your soul, in your heart.
Those whispers hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest.
Not today though. Today it’s quiet.
And I think it’s because Blake is here. Being around her makes all this feel less suffocating.
She wouldn’t be around me if I was still Nero. A criminal, just like her dad.
Is she the silver lining in all of this? Did I lose everything so that I could have someone like her?
I let out a deep sigh and run my fingers through my hair. I’m not sure what I want from her anymore. The plan was always to eventually let her go. But now, sleeping with her doesn’t seem like it will be enough. Of course, I still want to—physically, my body craves her in a way it’s never craved anyone else. But my feelings for her are starting to inch into a territory that’s decidedly more complicated.
Arnie’s right. I can’t hurt her. I can’t break her heart. So where does that leave me?
A better man might end things right now, before we both get in too deep.
But that’s not who I am.