SWNOVELS When He Desires: Chapter 38
I prop my feet on the coffee table and pick up my book.
La Vita Nuova by Dante.
I’ve read the thing more than a dozen times throughout my life, but every time I read it, I pick up on something new. It’s the kind of book that never gets old.
And now, as I read about Dante first meeting Beatrice, a woman he perceived as being more divine than human, his words hit me even more profoundly.
“Here is a deity stronger than I who comes to rule over me.”
I get it, buddy.
The house doesn’t feel right without Blake here.
Is it pathetic that I’ve done nothing all day but watch the time pass and wait for her shift to be over? Sandro and I gave the company the rest of the week off, and I’m regretting that decision.
I run my fingers through my hair. Whenever I’m around her, I’m fine. Happy even. But whenever I’m alone, that empty feeling reappears somewhere deep inside my chest.
I can’t very well demand Blake never leaves my side, although she seemed happy enough to spend all of yesterday in bed with me.
During our breaks, she’d traced the tattoos on my chest and asked me about what they all meant. I tried to be as truthful as I could, but I still ended up feeding her a slew of lies.
That fucking fish. It’s a tattoo many in the Cosa Nostra have to show we know how to keep our mouths shut. In the mob, no one gets a tattoo screaming their allegiance to any given family unless they’re an idiot, but symbolic images are common.
She traced the fish again and again. Lingering on it. Making me worry that she didn’t quite buy the story I told her.
My last job required me to know how to read people, and what I’m reading from Blake is that there’s still something deep inside her that seems to know to not trust me fully.
I should be grateful she has that instinct. After all, it’s correct.
How can I expect her full trust if there’s a part of me that will never be accessible to her? A part she will never know?
It shouldn’t matter, but it does.
But if that sting of loneliness is something I have to bear for the rest of my life to keep her in it, then so be it.
I read a few more pages, but even Dante’s not doing it for me right now. I’m antsy to see Blake.
Fuck it.
I get to my feet and pull on my jacket. We were supposed to meet at the bookstore after her shift, but I’ll just pick her up from work, and we can go there together. When I showed her some pictures the agent sent me, she squealed in excitement. She was more animated than I’ve ever seen her, her eyes shining with emotion.
My chest swells. When did I go from wanting things from her to wanting to give her everything? I don’t know. But seeing her happy was even better than putting Brett in his place.
It’s snowing lightly as I drive to Frostbite, and flurries land on the windshield. I get a text from Sandro saying he’s dropping off some wallpaper I ordered for the bigger bedroom upstairs, the one I’m planning on moving Blake and me into. The view’s better, and there’s more light in the mornings, which Blake likes.
I send him a quick voice message letting him know I’m out, and that he can let himself in with his key.
Frostbite comes into view. I pull into the parking lot and glance around.
Blake’s car isn’t here. Did I miss her? She shouldn’t be off for another ten minutes. Maybe she parked at the back.
As I get out of the truck, a familiar silhouette catches my eye, but it’s not Blake.
Brett is standing by the entrance of the restaurant, smoking a cigarette. His posture is relaxed, but his eyes track my every move with a sharp intensity that sets me on edge.
I walk up to him. “Is Blake inside?”
Brett puffs on his cigarette. “You just missed her.”
A feeling of unease settles in the pit of my stomach. Something about the way he looks at me, the way he speaks, sets off warning bells in my mind.
I should have just called Blake instead of trying to surprise her. I turn to leave.
“Rowan, hold up.”
There’s a weird lilt to his voice. And when I turn around, he’s got a smile on his face that doesn’t look quite right.
He takes a drag of his cigarette. “I always knew there was something off about you. When you bought Handy Heroes, I wondered who is that guy, and where did he get all that money?”
My fists clench. Where is he going with this? Fuck, this guy just doesn’t know when to quit.
He sniffs. “You’ve got no roots in Darkwater Hollow, and you clearly had enough money to settle down anywhere you wanted. So why here? It never made a lot of sense.”
“Is there a point to your rambling? If so, spit it the fuck out. I don’t have all day,” I growl.
His eyes narrow. “You made a big mistake, you know?”
“Oh yeah?”
“Shouldn’t have pulled a gun on me.”
Something’s wrong. I can’t explain it, but I’ve got this sudden urge to get the fuck out of here and find Blake.
I turn around and start walking back to my car.
“Hey, we’re not done talking,” Brett calls out, but I ignore him.
I’ve got nothing to say to him.
“Nero!”
I freeze. Goosebumps erupt over my skin.
What the fuck?
I haven’t heard that name spoken out loud since Sandro and I left New York.
I whip around. “What did you say?”
Brett takes a step closer, the cigarette dangling from his lips. His eyes narrow, and there’s a sinister gleam in them. “I said, Nero. That’s your name, right? Your real name.”
Fuck!
How does he know that?
How much does he know?
“Like I said, you made a mistake, wise guy. You think I didn’t know you’d come to me when you didn’t get the keys from the agent? I was prepared. Had a camera installed. Got a video of you pointing a gun at me.”
I take a step closer. “If I were you, I’d be really careful about what you do with that video.”
“Blake’s already seen the still images.” He makes a mocking grimace. “If I were you, I’d start thinking about how you’re going to explain them to her.”
My thoughts race. “What do you want?”
“I want you to leave Darkwater and never come back.”
“Like hell. You going to go to the police with this video?”
“The police?” He chuckles. “No. If you refuse to leave, I’m going to set someone much worse on you.”
“Oh yeah?” I take another step toward him. Fear skates across his face before he manages to hide it. “If you really know who I am, then you should know there aren’t a lot of people worse than me.”
“Blake’s godfather has seen the video too. He’s the one who helped me figure out this entire puzzle. Nero De Luca. He thought some people might be interested in knowing you’re still alive.”
My gut twists. Inside my chest, something shatters. “You fucking idiot. Do you know what you’ve done?”
Brett tosses the cigarette away and pushes off the wall. “I’ve put you in your fucking place.”
The Iron Raptors know my identity. And now they know I should be dead.
Since I’m not… There’s someone who’ll pay good money for that information.
I’ve got to get ahead of this. If I still can. What if they’ve already contacted the Ferraros? What if the Ferraros already sent someone this way? Does Rafe know I’ve been discovered?
Fuck!
Blake’s in danger.
And I might already be too late.