When He Takes: Chapter 24
Maksim rises out of his chair and walks around the desk, as if realizing it’s better if there’s something standing between him and me right now.
How the hell did this scumbag make Blake cry in only five minutes during my pointless phone call with Cosimo Ferraro?
That jerk-off didn’t even have anything important to say to me besides demanding my presence at some fucking meeting he’s organizing for his made guys tomorrow night. I told him where he could shove his meeting. He didn’t like it, but I don’t give a damn. If he’s upset, he can go cry to his daddy, who’ll tell him I have more important things to do than stroke his ego.
And now I’m even more pissed about that useless exchange, because clearly, I never should have left Blake alone with Maksim.
The Russian places his hands flat on the desk. “I simply made Blake an offer.”
“What kind of an offer?”
“A fair one. One night with her in exchange for my help in getting you out of the mess you’re in.”
It takes me a few moments to register what he means. When I do, my eyes immediately snap to Blake.
The look in her eyes rattles me. Why does she seem so unsure?
Is she actually considering his offer?
No way. There’s no fucking way she could even imagine going through with it.
Why didn’t she slap him as soon as he said the words? Why didn’t she storm the hell out of this office?
I shove all those questions away until after I’ve dealt with Maksim. “Do you have a death wish?”
Maksim smirks, crossing his arms over his chest. “You want to get revenge against the Ferraros and the Messeros. You want to reclaim your power. I can help you do that.”
“How’s that exactly?”
“If you tell me where they store their weapons, I’ll pass the information to the pakhan, and he’ll do the rest. You won’t have to do a thing for Gino Ferraro anymore, because he’ll be dead. Wouldn’t it feel great to know your information causes their downfall?”
This motherfucker. He’s playing on my ego. He thinks the satisfaction of being the one responsible for the Italians’ demise will be worth more than anything to me, but he couldn’t be more wrong.
“You make it sound like you’d be doing me a favor. But let’s be real, your boss stands to gain a lot from my intel.”
Maksim waves a dismissive hand. “Your information would certainly be valuable, but we can still win this war without it. The pakhan is not worried.”
And now he’s bluffing.
“All I want is one night. Surely you can spare Blake for that long.”
I see red and tightly clench my fists, feeling my nails dig into my palms.
I can’t kill him right now. Not while Blake is here, and I am outnumbered by the guards he has scattered throughout this place. It would put her in danger, and I’m not willing to risk that.
But when the time finally arrives… Oh, I will relish it. I will rip him apart, piece by piece, until there’s nothing left but scraps for feral dogs to feast on. I’ll make sure he won’t even get a proper burial.
I walk up to him, stopping only when we’re practically nose to nose. “No amount of revenge or power is worth you putting your grubby hands on her. There is nothing you could give me, nothing you could promise, to justify a price that high.”
I watch with satisfaction as his smirk melts away and his expression darkens.
Before he can utter another damn word, I grab him by the collar and slam him against his bookshelf. “If you ever make a proposition like that to my wife again, it will be your last sentence. Do you understand?”
Behind us, Blake sucks in a harsh breath.
My grip tightens. “Do. You. Understand?”
“Yes,” Maksim wheezes out, his face turning red.
I give it another few seconds, and then I let go of him. He slumps and rubs his neck, his eyes flashing hatefully in my direction. “You’re making a mistake. This is—”
I have no interest in hearing what he has to say, and I don’t plan on sticking around to listen. My hand reaches for Blake’s, and I pull her out of the office, stopping only to grab our coats before we step outside.
This is over.
Our mission is done.
The drive home feels like sitting inside a pressure cooker. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so many damn things at once.
Anger, resentment, confusion, fear.
It’s not Maksim or Ferraro that I fear. What I fear is the fact that I no longer understand my wife.
Something is seriously wrong. I knew it the moment I got on my haunches beside her and saw the uncertainty in her eyes.
She was uncertain about something that should have been crystal clear.
My hands twitch around the wheel. I want to press hard on the gas and scream. Instead, I force myself to drive calmly all the way back to Manhattan.
As soon as we enter the penthouse, Blake grabs me by the arm. “Nero, we have to call Vita and Gino and tell them it’s over. We failed.”
Is it just me, or does she sound defeated?
I can’t shake the feeling that there was a part of her that actually thought about taking Maksim’s offer.
It’s driving me insane.
“I’ll call them after I understand one thing,” I growl. Taking her hand, I walk her into the living room and sit her down on the sofa. She wraps her arms around herself and blinks at me with tired, resigned eyes.
“Why didn’t you just say no to him, Blake? I was right there, on the other side of the door. You knew I’d come to you if he so much as raised his voice, so it couldn’t have been fear that kept you silent.”
The way her gaze slides to the rug makes rage pulse inside my chest.
“Our mission—”
I crouch down in front of her and lift her chin with my knuckle. “You’re telling me you considered his offer for the sake of our damn mission?”
Her lips waver. “I just froze. I-I didn’t know what you’d want to do.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You didn’t know what I’d want to do?”
“No.”
“What did you think I’d say? ‘Sure, Blake. Go ahead and fuck that slimy scumbag. I’ll wait for you at home.’ Where are we? On Mars? On what fucking planet do you think that would have happened?”
Her chin quivers. “You hate working for Alessio. You hate being powerless. I saw how upset you were after that poker night, and you weren’t faking it for Maksim’s sake, Nero.” She sniffs. “I knew you wouldn’t like what Maksim was proposing, but maybe you’d think it was worth—”
My fingers dig into her knees. “For fuck’s sake, of course I don’t. I would rather spend ten lifetimes working for Alessio than have Maksim lay his hands on you for even a second.”
She sucks in a shaky breath. “In your world, wives are pawns, aren’t they?”
I frown. Where is this coming from? “Why would you think that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Just look at Ekaterina. It’s clear Maksim doesn’t love her, and he has no problem using her to help him achieve his own goals. Her help doesn’t even earn her his loyalty. I was so angry at her after that awful lunch, but now I feel sorry for her. What a miserable life she must live.”
“Their relationship has nothing to do with us,” I say firmly. It’s slowly starting to make sense. She’s trying to understand the rules of our world, how relationships can work in it, but she’s got no good reference for it. All she had were her parents—hardly a good example of a partnership—and now Maksim and Ekaterina.
“Blake, you can’t assume everyone is like Maksim and Ekaterina. Their dysfunction would likely be there whether Maksim was part of the Bratva or not.”
“You’re really telling me what they have isn’t the norm amongst the people you know?”
“Do relationships like that exist? Yes. Is it the norm? No. If only you knew how fucking crazy Rafe is about Cleo, or the kind of relationships her sisters have with their men, you would realize that there are plenty of us who find Maksim disgusting for how he treats his wife. Look at Vita and Gino—”
“Vita is a player in her own right,” she snaps. “Maybe that’s what she’s had to do in order to survive. But I will never be like her. I don’t want to be like her. So where does that leave me, Nero?”
“Exactly as you are.” Doesn’t she understand that she doesn’t need to change a thing?
She gives her head a hard shake. “Sometimes, I wake up in the morning and feel like I’m drowning. I have no agency, no autonomy. You forced me to marry you. You forced me into this world, and even after weeks of trying to make it here, I still don’t know how to. I froze completely in Maksim’s office, and I’ll freeze again. Maybe in a situation where it might cost me my life. Or yours.”
“Baby—”
“I’m scared!” An angry tear slips down her cheek. “I’m scared that I will never have the strength to make it here unless I do things I don’t want to do and become someone I don’t want to be.”
My chest grows tight. I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. It kills me that this is how she feels, because I know that for her whole life, she’s never felt like she was enough.
Not in Darkwater Hollow, and not here either.
But there’s one place where she will always be enough. Where she will always belong. Right here with me.
I just need to make her see it.
When her quiet sniffles recede, I lean back and look at her face. “You’re not a pawn, and I will never treat you like one. We tried to do something very difficult, something most mob wives would never even attempt to do. You’re so fucking brave, baby. And so damn good for trying to help a bastard like me.”
A strange drama plays out across her face. There are so many conflicting emotions rushing through her eyes that I struggle to understand them.
I brush the hair from her face. “But you don’t need to be brave for my sake, Sunshine. I know you’re feeling guilty for what happened in Darkwater Hollow, but you have nothing to feel guilty for, and it’s about time you accept that.”
I thought my words would comfort her, but instead, her gaze turns haunted. She pushes my hands off her and rises to her feet.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. We’ve failed.”
I stand too. “Do you know why I agreed to do this even though it made me sick with worry to bring you into it all?”
“Because becoming capo would help you keep me safe.”
“Yes. Of course. But that alone would never have been enough. I agreed because I thought this experience might help bring us back together. That’s why I did it.”
Her eyes grow very wide. “What?”
“It was always only about you. What I want is you. If I had you… Fuck, I’d be happy doing anything Ferraro wanted me to.”
That fucking guilt flickers again on the edges of her expression. She stands by the bookshelf just staring at me. “You’re really not upset we blew it?” she asks eventually.
“Not at all.”
She places her hand on one of the shelves, but her eyes don’t stray from me. “I just…find that hard to believe.”
I rake my fingers through my hair. “My God, you still don’t get it, do you? Isn’t it fucking obvious by now?”
“What are you talking about?”
I walk up to her and cage her in with my arms. “I told you I wouldn’t lie to you anymore after we got to New York. I stuck to that promise. But there’s something I’ve been holding back. And isn’t that just as bad? I don’t want to play these games anymore.”
She tips her head back against the shelves. “What are you talking about?”
“I fucking love you.”
Her lips part on a harsh breath. She stares at me with her glistening blue eyes for a long moment, as if she’s trying to see into the very depths of my soul, and then she ducks under my arm and flees down the hallway to her room.
No. I’m not going to let her run away from me.
She tries to close the bedroom door, but I fling it open. She moves inside, but I catch her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her against my chest. She struggles for a moment before she grows still.
I press my lips to her ear and whisper, “I’m in love with you. And I know you’re not sure if you feel the same way about me because I’m not the kind of man you ever imagined yourself with.”
Her chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.
“But, Sunshine, the more I see you fight the feelings that are trying to burst out of you, the more determined I become. I will wait for you for however long it takes. I’d rather face your scornful looks and your righteous anger than exist in a world where you’re not mine.”
I turn her around and hold her by the arms. “It’s torture to have you so close to me yet so far. It’s torture to remember how we were. When I think back to our days in Darkwater Hollow, the pain I feel is visceral. It’s worse than the pain of being in that ring with Alessio. I’d let him wreck me again and again if it meant I’d have a hope of getting us back.”
A whimper comes out of Blake. The sound is devastating. “It’s never going to be like it was. Not here.”
“Believe me, I know. But I also know that as long as my heart beats, I’m going to keep trying to find a path back to you. Back to us.”
Her shining eyes pierce through me as she sobs.
I press my forehead to hers. “You’re it for me. You are my first love. And you are my last.”
She makes a choked gasp and shoves at my chest. “Damn you, Nero.”
And then she crushes her lips to mine.