When He Takes: Chapter 29
The sunset is windy but gorgeous, and Nero and I watch it from the deck, his arm wrapped securely around my shoulders.
The sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore calms me. I’m sure that was Nero’s intention when he brought me here. He doesn’t know the secret I’m hiding, but I think he can sense there’s something bothering me.
A heavy breath travels through my chest.
I can see a future with him, so why do I still need to have an escape plan? And is it really so bad that I do have one?
Getting that passport from Vita isn’t the same as using it.
You still don’t trust him. Not fully.
No, it’s not that.
It’s that I don’t trust myself. Nero says I don’t need to change, but I’ve already started to.
I’m not the girl he met in Darkwater Hollow anymore. And the woman I’m becoming? I’m not quite sure who she is or what she’s capable of, and that scares the crap out of me.
A year from now, will I still be able to recognize myself? Or will I lose myself, the way my mom lost herself at the altar of her love for my father?
She never had a backup plan or a way out.
But I can. Just in case.
By the time we head inside to cook some dinner, the guilt is still there, but I’ve managed to pack it up in a thick cardboard box and shove it deep inside the attic of my mind.
Nero pulls out some beef, tomatoes, onions, and garlic, and we start prepping for the sauce we’re making for the rigatoni sitting on the counter.
It almost feels like we’re back in Darkwater Hollow.
We stand side by side as we chop the veggies, and I’m transported right to the moment months ago when he kissed me in my kitchen.
A smile pulls on my lips. My body lit up like a switchboard before I came to my senses and put an end to it. “Do you remember our first kiss?”
He bumps me with his hip. “With utter clarity. The shell-shocked look you had on your face is seared into my memory,” he says with a laugh. “I thought you were just playing hard to get, until you declared that you were moving out.”
I snort a laugh. “I couldn’t believe your audacity.”
“Don’t lie. A part of you enjoyed it.”
I elbow him in the ribs. “Maybe a very small part.”
He grunts in mock pain and shoots me a grin that lights up his whole face.
My breath catches. He’s so damn handsome.
I put my knife down and get on my tiptoes to kiss him. Just because I want to. Just because he’s impossible to resist.
He leans down and kisses me back, sliding his tongue inside my mouth. Heat rises through my chest. By the time I tear myself away from him, I’m breathless.
I press a palm against the counter. “All right, I have to ask. What the hell were you thinking starting that fire?”
His brows arch in surprise. “We can joke about it now?”
I sigh. “I think it’s been long enough. I can handle it.”
He bites down on the corner of his mouth. “You were leaving. I needed to make you stay. But truth is, it was a major fuckup on my part.”
“Well, yeah.”
“I mean, I didn’t intend for it to demolish your entire living room. I didn’t realize it would spread like wildfire through your books. And when you told me you didn’t have home insurance, I went into a full-blown panic. That’s how that whole fake-dating idea came to me. I needed some way to explain why I’d fix everything without making it obvious I was doing it out of guilt.”
I give my head a shake. “You’re ridiculous.” He set my house on fire to keep me close to him. What kind of a lunatic does that?
This is the first time that thought doesn’t fill me with rage.
On the contrary. It’s just… I mean, it’s kind of…funny? And sweet?
My eyes snap wide. My God, am I for real?
Dumping the tomatoes into the pot, I walk over to the fridge and pour myself a glass of water.
Did I just make an excuse for what Nero did? It’s one thing to forgive him, but to empathize with why he did it?
What’s next? Will I be justifying murder?
It hits me then. I already am.
Nero is a killer—that is a fact—but that’s not how I see him. That label feels like no more than a footnote on his personality. Irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
A shiver runs through me. Who is this woman indeed?
After dinner, we make some mulled wine and go outside to sit by the firepit. The crackling flames lick at the night sky as I take a few sips.
I notice Nero brought a book with him—The Divine Comedy. I flipped through it myself a few days ago but found it largely incomprehensible.
“Did you bring that from home?”
He nods. “I saw you looking at it. It’s one of my favorites.”
Heat blankets my cheeks. “Is this where I admit I had a very hard time with it?”
He chuckles. “It’s not just you. Took me years to really understand it. I’ve read multiple translations along with the original Italian. Can I read some to you?”
“Sure.”
He opens it to the page that’s earmarked and begins to read, pausing to explain the confusing parts.
Dante and his guide, Virgil, enter the outer ring of the seventh circle of hell, where the sinners who committed violence against others are punished. This area is a boiling river of blood. Murderers, tyrants, and others who were violent toward other humans are submerged in the river to varying depths, determined by the severity of what they did and how they sinned. Centaurs patrol the riverbanks, shooting arrows at any of the damned who try to escape their punishment.
It’s a gruesome image.
I wonder why Nero’s studied this book so much. It’s the story of Dante’s redemption, and maybe that’s what draws Nero to it. Dante wanted to be redeemed, but Nero’s embraced the darkness that inhabits him. He’s accepted it as part of who he is.
Does he imagine himself as one of the sinners that stand in that river, boiling in thick blood with no way out?
That image chills me. If that’s what he thinks is waiting for him, and yet he still keeps living the life he’s chosen, he is far braver than me.
I admire the way he accepts the consequences of his decisions, refusing to hide from them, no matter how harsh they may be. That’s exactly what he did when he chose to return to New York with me, isn’t it?
He closes the book and tosses it on the chair beside the bench we’re sitting on. “That’s enough for tonight. Did I put you to sleep?”
“How could you? That was riveting. And somewhat disturbing.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being a smart-ass or just a genuine nerd.”
“Hey, there’s a nerd here, but it’s certainly not me. I’m not the one explaining The Divine Comedy to their unsuspecting spouse.” I take a sip of my mulled wine and shoot him a sideways look. “Does anyone else know how well-read you are?”
It’s hard to tell with the fire going, but I swear that he blushes. “If you’re asking if I’ve attempted to explain The Divine Comedy to anyone before you, the answer would be no.”
“Are there book clubs in the mob? Maybe you should start one.”
“Fuck, just the thought of that…” He snorts. “Can you imagine me telling Alessio I’d like for us to meet once a week to discuss Romeo & Juliet?“
I bite down on my grin. “Throw him right into the deep end, huh? How about starting with something easier, like Anne of Green Gables?”
His chest vibrates with laughter. “That’s fucking perfect. Did I ever tell you I think he wants to live on a farm? He has a farm in the Sims game he plays.”
“Oh my God, Nero, what if he just needs some inspiration to go for it? Give that man the damn book!” I’m crying.
Nero puts his mug down on the ground and hides his face inside his hands, his whole body shaking. I’ve never seen him laugh this hard.
It takes both of us a good few minutes to calm down and be able to look at each other without going into another fit.
His dark eyes twinkling, he pulls me onto his lap, making me straddle his thighs. “All right, that’s enough. I didn’t bring you here so that you could bully me over my reading habits.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a crooked smile. “Why did you bring me here then?”
He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and crushes his lips to mine.
Everything feels so good in the moment. The heat from the fire, the heat from his mouth, and the way my body melts effortlessly into him.
His tongue lashes against my own for a long while. He’s eager but unrushed, as if he knows he’s exactly where he’s meant to be. He slides his hands under my layers of clothing and wraps them around my bare ribcage, his fingertips teasing the underside of my breasts.
Tingles rush over my whole body. How is it that one light touch from him is enough to take me from zero to one hundred? Maybe it’s the way he never tries to force pleasure. He takes his time and coaxes it out. He knows exactly how to read each quiver, gasp, and moan I make. Sometimes it feels like he can even read my mind. And that makes me wonder if he can sense the things I’m still hiding from him.
Grabbing his massive shoulders, I kiss him harder, pulling myself back to the present. I don’t want to be anywhere else but here in this moment right now.
He moves his hands higher and cups my breasts. He sucks in a harsh breath through his nose and makes a small groan in the back of his throat. The sound is so sexy, and I scoot close to press our hips together, searching for the friction my pussy craves.
He’s hard as a rock. The jeans we’re both wearing are highly annoying barriers, but they don’t stop me from grinding up against the ridge of his cock as best I can.
Nero makes a frustrated noise and pulls his hands out of my shirt. He undoes the button and the fly of my jeans and tries to shove his hand inside, but the angle I’m sitting at doesn’t allow him much access.
“Fuck,” he grunts. “How much do you like these jeans?”
“Hmm?” I blink dazedly at him. “Why?”
There’s a hard tug and a sharp tearing noise.
“Oh. A lot actually.”
“I’ll buy you a new pair.” He grins and slides his hand inside my panties. “There you are.”
My lungs empty out as he teases his fingers over my slit. “You could have just brought us inside, you know.”
“And miss the view of you coming apart for me beneath all these stars?” He looks up.
I follow his line of sight. He’s right. The sky is full of twinkling lights. All those worlds and galaxies are witnessing what this man does to me without any judgment.
A shaky breath leaves my chest as his touch grows firmer. He dips his fingers inside me, and then pulls them out, and moves them to massage my clit.
I’m buzzing so hard that it won’t take long. Each swipe gets me closer and closer to that blissful edge. I thread my fingers through his hair and stare into his eyes while he works my body into a frenzy.
The fire burning behind me is reflected in his gaze. “You’re so damn gorgeous,” he murmurs. “I love how wet you get for me.”
My head lolls to the side as he applies more pressure and makes me mewl. When he slides his fingers back inside me, I’m so worked up that I start fucking them as if they’re his cock.
Lust darkens his eyes. “Do you need something else, baby? Something bigger for that hungry pussy?”
“Yes,” I whine, beyond shame.
I reach between us, undo his jeans, and slide my hand inside his boxers. My palm curls around his silky shaft, but I can’t quite get him out.
“Hold on tight,” he commands as he lifts his hips off the bench with me still sitting on him and uses his free hand to shove his jeans over his ass.
“Didn’t want me to try and rip yours?”
“I would have loved to see you try,” he says in a low voice as he pulls his cock out.
Watching his tatted hand wrapped around his shaft is so erotic it makes my mouth water. He rips my jeans farther down the seam, completely exposing my drenched panties.
And then he rips those as well.
A grin. “Hop on.”
I scramble up his thighs, line us up, and then sink onto him. The second he’s fully sheathed, a full body shiver goes through me from the delicious stretch. I clutch his shirt and roll my hips, searching for the angle that’s going to get me there.
His hands grab my ass. “How’s that?” he asks, his voice strained.
“Good,” I pant, my pussy fluttering, my mind spinning. “So good.”
He starts fucking me from below, meeting my thrusts with his own. His groans intermingle with my moans in the cold night air, making me wonder for a moment if the neighbors might hear us.
But then he changes his angle just so, and I decide I don’t care. Nothing that feels this perfect could be wrong.
He speeds up his thrusts, leaning his head back while keeping his hooded gaze on me. “Fuck, baby. You’re making me lose my mind.”
I dig my fingers into his neck, searching for something to keep me tethered to Earth as I come undone. My eyes squeeze shut against the onslaught of pleasure that crashes through me.
Nero grunts and thrusts into me two more times, his hands digging into my thighs as he spills inside me.
When I manage to open my eyes again, I catch him staring at me, his chest rising and falling with harsh breaths. He tugs me against him and presses his lips against the shell of my ear. His hands travel over my back, rubbing it in soothing motions.
Something in the air shifts.
I think he wants to say it again. Those three magic words.
Will I say them back? Can I?
My teeth dig into my bottom lip. There’s something inside me that’s so tangled up that I can’t figure it out. The moment I say those words, there will be no coming back from them. My transformation will be complete, and I’ll become someone new.
A woman who loves a killer. A woman who’s willingly married to a killer.
Can I accept that I’m her?
The silence lingers. It lingers as Nero pulls out of me and carries me inside the house. It lingers as he undresses me, cleans me up, and gets in bed with me.
I tuck myself against his chest and revel in his warmth.
I’ll figure it out. I just need a bit more time.
Nero’s phone rings. Whatever name he reads on the screen makes his brow furrow. He picks up. “Hello?”
I sit up, holding the duvet against my chest. Is it Maksim? Do we need to rush back to New York?
The thought of Nero meeting the pakhan sends a chill down my spine. He’ll be walking into enemy territory. What if the pakhan does something to him the moment he gets the information he wants?
Panic claws my insides as a realization dawns on me. It’ll be Nero’s life on the line again. Did I even think about that when I encouraged him to go through with this? Or was I only thinking of myself?
Nero runs his fingers through his hair. “When?” A beat passes. “We’re two hours outside of the city.” He glances at me. “Tomorrow? Yeah, we can make it, I’m just not sure… Let me talk to her. Okay. Thanks.” He hangs up and tosses the phone onto the nightstand.
“Who was that?”
“Cleo.”
I let out a relieved breath. “I thought it was Maksim.”
He scratches his chin. “They’re hosting a thing for Sandro tomorrow.”
“A wake?”
“More like a celebration of life, I guess. They want to remember him with the guys. Cleo asked if we want to come, but I wasn’t sure you’d be—“
“I want to.” Of course I do. Sandro saved my life. “Where is it?”
“Back in New York.” Nero sighs.
“Won’t Maksim find out we went to Rafe’s?”
“It’s not at his house. They rented out Sandro’s favorite bar for it. Even if Maksim is watching us, no one will think twice about me attending a party in honor of the man who was forced out with me. There will be plenty of people there.”
I reach over and squeeze Nero’s hand. “Then let’s go.”