Bubble Gum Kisses

**Kapittel 24** ***Vanessa***

**I quickly hailed a taxi** as soon as I got outside the gates, just as mom told me earlier this morning. Listening to the classic old songs of England Dan and John Ford Coley played by the driver while watching the wondrous view of the rain dripping on the windows, making little tapping sounds like what a kid would make when they tap on glass windows. The trees' leaves were getting blown by the strong wind, the buildings were getting saturated and hastily got crowded by people to get shelter while others who had their umbrellas were walking by the sidewalk with either frothing coffee or a bag in their hand.

I wasn't able to admire it much though, because my mind was busy thinking of what I had seen earlier. I couldn't get it off my head. Was that really Friso or just a figment of my imagination? But I wonder, why did I feel a little pinch in my chest when I recognized it was Friso? I mean, I believe I had already moved on from our unclear breakup, I just needed a proper closure. Or what if I thought I'd moved on? What if I did move on but I still couldn't my feelings off of him? The wounds that I've worked to stitch together and heal were hastily starting to open fresh and bleed all over again.

The taxi's aircon wasn't much cold but my hands were gelid, soaking in sweat and shaking. I stared at the familiar view outside, excited to return home and sort my feelings seriously since I couldn't think straight when I was in an uncanny place. Thinking about the old pain I've experienced with my ex-flame made me regret that we moved back. Maybe we shouldn't have moved back at all, but it wouldn't happen anyway if only the accident didn't happen. If dad hadn't died and was still alive right now if only I had done anything to sa-

"Miss? We're here." I gasped when I heard the driver suddenly speak, pulling me away from my reverie. I stared at him in awe, my mind blank and my heart beating fast.

"You aight?" he asked me that brought me to my senses and made me realize that I was holding my head tightly with my hands, my nails digging in my scalp deeply that a lingering stinging sensation vibrated throughout the spots where I dug my nails on. I immediately grabbed my bag to my lap to find my wallet and answered that I was fine as I grabbed my pay and then offered it to him. I immediately left the taxi as soon as my change was given, good thing the rain was already over when I arrived since I wasn't able to pack an umbrella in my bag.

"Hey!" a sudden call went through my ears and I automatically turned my head to see where the call came from. It was from the taxi driver. He was staring at me deeply as if he was looking into my soul with his unfazed, calculating eyes. "You know that the suicide hotline's always a call away, right?" he then asked which stunned me. That was an unexpected question, I thought.

"Y-Yeah," I answered stiffly with a small nod.

"That's good." The driver sighed and then put both of his hands on the steering wheel before speaking again. "Don't waste your time moping or end your life just because you think you've done something wrong." After that, he drove off at full speed, rendering the wet, dead leaves on the sodden ground to create small crunching sounds, leaving me dazed.

I stared at the empty road where the taxi parked before leaving, thinking about the driver. He probably thought that I was depressed and suicidal. He was not wrong though, I'd been depressed after the accident, and thoughts of killing myself were constant out of gui- gosh, what am I thinking?! Why am I remembering those days?!

I slapped my cheeks with my hands simultaneously, blinking my eyes twice as fear began creeping to my knees. My thoughts were beginning to go dark again. I shouldn't let that happen. No. My family, friends, and therapist's hard work would all go to waste if I don't stop thinking about them.

**"You must be Vanessa?"** an elderly voice asked me immediately as soon as I opened the door but I ignored it for a moment as I was busy changing my shoes. After that, I looked up to see the owner of the voice. It was an elderly woman, sitting on the sofa facing Zach, who was playing with his toys while his torso was hanging on his walker.

She had a nice pair of cognac brown eyes that almost matched her salt and pepper hair that reaches down her shoulders, although there were visible wrinkles on the edge of her eyes, lips, and forehead. But they did not stop radiating her gentle beauty. She was like a cute and sweet-looking grandmother who was more likely to spoil her grandchildren than how she did to her own child.

"Yes. Yes, I am," I nodded. "You must be Nana, right?" I asked, sauntering towards them on the sofa. I remembered mom hired someone recently to take care of the house and Zach while I was gone for school and she was off for work. I didn't expect that she'd be on duty sooner and was old. But that didn't matter.

"Yes, my actual name's Nadine. But I'd love to be called Nana. Nice to meet you," she said with a bright smile on her face.

"Likewise." I put my bag down on the sofa and leaned toward my little brother who was immersing himself in playing cars. "Hey there, Zach. Gimme a kiss," I said, puckering my lips and begun making kissy noises.

He looked at me in a split second then puckered his as well. "Kissssssss," he said before leaning his face upwards to give me a quick peck.

"I made dinner early by the way," she informed me which lifted my spirits. Nothing else would cheer me up when I get sad but food, and only food. Especially when they were sizzling hot and fresh out of the pan.

"Gosh, that's great," I said, standing up and walking towards the dining area. "What did you cook?" I asked, grabbing some silverware and a plate from the tray excitedly before sitting my butt down on a chair. There laid on the table was a serving bowl covered with its paired lid and two serving platters. One was served with fried chicken and the other was served with mashed potatoes. I drooled, seeing the steam escaping from the bowl and the mashed potatoes, provoking me to eat.

"Just some beef stew, fried chicken, and mashed potatoes," she answered while I opened the lid. Immediately, along with the warm miasma, the mouth-watering smell assailed my nostrils and the beautiful view of beef stew was revealed before my eyes. I hastily took portions of each food on my plate.

"Oh God," I moaned in delight as soon as I took my first bite of her beef stew. The wonderful combination of meat's softness and amazing mix of the condiments brought a heaven-sent taste that satiated my empty stomach and pushed the conversion of tryptophan into serotonin and triggered my dopamine, spreading all over my system. As expected, the homemade food made by grandmas were the best! "This is amazing, Nana. I love this," I said before taking another bite. I heard her giggle echo from the living room. "I'm glad you do. How was school?" My mood immediately dropped down, remembering what happened.

Seeing Friso having sex with a girl in the parking lot, my thoughts in the taxi, what the taxi driver told me, the fear of my dark thoughts coming back. Everything. It felt like a heavy load was placed upon my shoulders and something was sucking in my chest. I gulped, taking all the negative feelings out before answering. "It was great. I got a new friend." Though I couldn't tell if Georgia was my friend yet. Who knew if she would befriend me genuinely because I could help her understand her homework or because I was friends with Lazarus?

**After the delish early dinner,** I immediately went up to my room to do my assignments, starting with Mrs. Beloy's essay assignment. Thanks to Nana's food, the assignment that I thought would give me a hard time thinking became a little easy. After a little polishing and finishing touches, I did my math assignment, which was the real deal. It kept my mind busy which I found good. Since I'd thought of unwinding from thinking of sudden negative thoughts, especially about dad's dea-

"Ugh," I groaned as I placed my pen down on my desk full of scratch papers of my scribbled calculations. Rubbing my aching temples, I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath. "I'm thinking about it again."

**

Thank you for reading Bubble Gum Kisses! To keep up with my works, future works, and endless frustrations on Twitter: https://twitter.org/RiosMorpheus**