What Lies Beneath

I'd watched my mother die, my brother taken from me, lived through literal torture, and still... this managed to hurt me. I'd thought I was tougher than that. I suppose I wasn't. God, I wish I could take back what I said. How could I have been so stupid? I didn't even know I'd felt it until the words were out of my mouth and making Landon run from me.

I felt embarrassed. More for the confession than going as far with him as I had. There wasn't a thing I wouldn't have let him do. I had trusted him as completely as I could. I wasn't even sure if I didn't trust him anymore. In his eyes, when he was telling me he loved me, I couldn't see anything but truth. If he was a liar, he was a good one.

I watched him walk out the door, and I had no way of knowing if I would ever see him again. I shouldn't hope.

But I did.

****

I was still miserable when I woke up, but it switched to fury when I felt an arm around me. I sat up as quick as I could and glared down at the vampire that was awake beside me. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He rolled onto his back and watched the ceiling. "Good morning."

I punched him in the arm. "You think you can just ditch me like that and then come back to spoon me? Where the hell did you even go?"

"I sat in the van for a while."

I punched him again. "You sat in the van?"

"I deserve the punches."

I slapped his damn face. "I'm glad you agree, dick."

He blinked, and his face started turning red. "So I guess forgetting last night happened is out of the question."

Oh, I could have killed him. "Yeah, little bit. It would be kind of hard to forget crying alone for two hours, then getting the joy of having to shower off your discarded army of children-never-to-be off me, also alone. Then getting dressed again and crawling into bed - a new one, since the maids weren't available to bring up new sheets at four a.m. - all alone. After telling someone I loved him for the very first time. So, no, we will not be forgetting what happened."

He sat up against the bed. "I went about it the wrong way, but we couldn't go any further last night."

"Sure, actual sex would have been too far. The hour of foreplay wasn't intimate at all..."

"I never said that. But if I took your virginity, that would be a pain that wouldn't heal."

"As opposed to you taking off after I said I loved you? You think that's not gonna leave me fucked up?"

I wasn't looking at him, but I felt him press his forehead against my temple. "I am so, so sorry, Mila."

I was crying, but it was silent. "I would have given you the blood. You didn't need to do all that other stuff."

"I know—"

"You didn't need to make me think you love me."

He took my hand on my lap. "I didn't say that because I was trying to ply you into giving me something. I knew you would because I know you. Even when you're pissed at me, it doesn't stop you from taking care of me. And the truth is that I didn't need the blood at all."

"Then why did you take it?"

He laughed, and it was breathy. "Why do you think?"

I was silent.

He turned my face to him, but I wouldn't let my eyes meet his. "Mila, please hear me. I love you. Really, I do. It's the only good thing I've felt in this half-life I lead. You're comfort in a miserable existence. You gave me something other than numbness and anger."

I couldn't keep my voice steady. "How am I supposed to believe any of that?"

"I don't know." His fingers gripped my hand. "You deserve so much more than me."

"I never said I wanted more than you." I waited, but he didn't say anything, so I spoke again. "How long were you in the van?"

"Maybe a couple hours. I didn't come back until the sun rose."

"And you figured you could just get into bed with me?"

He moved away, letting go of me. "No, I didn't believe I had any right to. Or that you would want me to. I assumed you would rather me stay out in the sun."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Little bit." I shook my head. "I don't understand you at all. You claim to love me, and I said I loved you. Why did you stop last night? If we're both accepting that we love each other, I don't understand at all why that isn't the end of this fight."

He said my name again, and I couldn't stand not looking at him anymore. I crawled onto his lap, put both of my hands under his chin, and tilted his sad face up at me. "It's not that simple."

"I think it is."

"I didn't keep going because I knew what was coming. Today is my last day with you and-"

"You're still leaving me?" My voice was outraged. "You love me, and you're still leaving?"

"I am. I would be so bad for you if I stayed."

"Who the fuck are you to decide that?" I snapped. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to decide what's best for me after you tell me you love me. That's not fair. I am not a child to be treated like glass. So stop trying to push me away from you, cuz it's not gonna work. This isn't about me. It's about you. So tell me, Landon, why won't you stay? And don't you dare tell me that I'm the reason."

He couldn't look away from me, so I got to watch his eyes. "I don't want what I am to tarnish you."

I smiled. "Take a look, darlin'. I'm as fucked up as they come. You won't do a thing to me to make it worse. Unless you leave." My smile turned miserable. "Are you so sure that I'm a waste of time that you won't stay even for a little while?" "You know that isn't it."

I held his shoulders, and my lips pressed together. "I don't want you to be all alone in this big, miserable world. I want you to be with someone who loves you. You were alone for so long, and you didn't have anyone to talk to at night. Haven't you ever been lying in bed, staring at nothing, wishing you had someone next to you? I have. I wanted a reason to care about why I was waking up the next morning. I don't wanna be alone anymore."

His thumb brushed a tear from my cheek. "You're not alone. You'll have Jaxon."

"You know that isn't the same thing. And it doesn't change the fact that I'll know you're out there somewhere, wandering by yourself."

He smiled brokenly. "I won't be."

I felt my forehead wrinkle. "What are you talking about?"

He captured both of my hands in his. "For two-hundred years, what's kept me going is revenge. Ugly, but true. I have three people left, and now a handful more. After that, I won't have a purpose anymore. I didn't after Mercy died, but I hadn't noticed until I was taken. To tell you the truth, I never really had a purpose. I've been alone for a very long time, and I don't know how to be anything but alone and angry. I won't be worrying about that much longer."

No. No, no, no. "No!" I said, anger burning my face. "If you're telling me what I think you're telling me, you're getting far worse than a slap!"

"Baby," he said in a calm voice. "Why would I stick around this planet if I don't have a reason?"

"You do!" I said through fresh tears. "I love you. Is that not enough for you? I'm not saying you have to be with me forever or anything, but don't make me love you and then kill yourself. Leave me, fine, but stay alive. I can't deal with that. Please..." I hugged him and said the word a dozen more times.

He held me tight, his face against my shoulder. "I can't stay with you."

"Please," I cried. "Don't go away."

"I have to."

I ripped myself away from him and shoved at his shoulders. "That's bullshit, and it's a copout. If you're scared, I understand. You're right, you don't know how to be anything but alone. The idea of being thrust into something so different should be terrifying, but you are not alone anymore. Nothing can change that. You can be a million miles away, and I'll still love you. You can be in heaven, hell, or oblivion, and you won't be alone. You can't run from this." He watched me for a few moments before he leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "We need to leave now."

"Landon..."

He picked me up and set me on my feet before he got off the bed. "Get dressed."

Numbly, I grabbed my bag and picked out new clothes. I didn't bother leaving the room to change, but he didn't look at me. Funny. All the things we'd done last night, and he wouldn't look at me while I switched my clothes. He took my bag for me, and we left. He checked us out and put my stuff in the van.

I took the keys from him. "You didn't sleep. I'm driving."

"Do you know where we're going?"

I nodded and got into the driver's side. He got into the other seat and buckled up, shutting his eyes and laying his head back.

I started driving, and it was amazing that my hands weren't shaking. How do I convince a man to not kill himself? If a partner wasn't enough, then maybe there was no winning this. How was I supposed to live, knowing that he's dead? He wasn't sleeping yet, so I tried to talk to him. "Three people left?"

He left his eyes shut. "More now."

"Who?"

"The men that hurt you. They need to die."

My hands gripped the wheel. "You think you'll find them?" Kind of him to try. He was so sweet about the scars. He didn't even seem to think I was less attractive for them.

"Yes," he said in a growl. The anger wasn't for me. "I'll find each one, and I'll kill them like your brother should have. I'll get the names from him. Shouldn't take long." Not long. He didn't have much longer...

He asked, "That scar on the top of your breast, the jagged one...?"

"What about it?"

"Why isn't it a clean cut? I want to know how much fun I can have with those boys."

I somehow kept calm. "Um, I used to have a mole there. They cut it off."

His eyes opened, and there was nothing but malevolence. "I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything. I didn't think about that night, or the men on top of me, cutting and laughing when I cried. More than the joy over their impending death, I was glad that Landon added on to his list of things to do. It meant he would be alive longer.

****

We were just inside of Portland, and I parked about five-hundred feet away from the building we were supposed to go into Just like Landon had taught me. Close enough to make it in a mad dash, but far enough to not look so obvious.

It appeared to be an abandoned building, and it was on its very own corner of the street. Nothing else for at least half a mile. I looked around for cars or hints at life around it, and there were none. It made me feel hopeless in this search for Jaxon.

Landon was asleep in his seat, and I squeezed his shoulder. "Wake up, Landon."

It took a few seconds, but he blinked his eyes open. He looked out the windows at our surroundings. "We're here?"

"Yeah. You ready?"

His eyes were grave. "Are you?"

My brother might be in the building in front of us. The man I was searching for all this time. The only person on this planet that loved me enough to not abandon me. "Yes, I'm ready."

We were out of the car and approaching the building. It was all brick and looked like it would crumble if it was in the mood. It didn't matter. I had nothing at all without Jaxon. If I died trying to save him, so be it. "Stick close," Landon told me.

"I wasn't planning on anything else."

He held my hand as we looked for a way in. We passed by the main entrances. There weren't trees for me to climb, but there were windows we could use. One was open, so Landon lifted me, and I crawled in. Landon jumped and grabbed the ledge. I helped pull him up, even knowing he didn't need it. He checked on me when he was in.

"I'm fine," I said.

My head turned to get a better look at where we were. I couldn't guess what this place was. The walls looked like metal on the inside, and we were standing on rickety and rusted stairs. There were holes in the metal steps by design. I didn't feel safe on it.

"Careful," Landon told me. "You'll break your neck if you fall." He looked down at the fifty-foot drop, then up at the level that was above us. I saw the entrance to a hallway, but it was too dark to see what was in it. "There first." He led me up. My heart dropped at a couple of groans from the metal, but we made it to the top alive. We walked across the stained carpet and into the dark hall. Landon used my phone to light the way, and he broke open the first door.

The windows were blacked out, but it was faded on the edges. Shady as fuck, but who was I to judge? The rest of the room was empty, the floors made of concrete.

"Storage," Landon decided. "They must keep people in here."

"But where are all the people?"

He handed me my phone and slipped his hands in his pockets. "Question of the hour, darlin'. Let's check the other rooms."

We did. Every room up top was much the same. The most we found were some broken-down pieces of furniture and empty file cabinets.

We headed back to the stairs after we combed the entire top floor. Landon stepped out onto the stairs first, just to make sure they were safe. Then he pulled me along, careful as could be.

We were halfway down when he stopped. His face turned puzzled, then knowing as he smelled the air. He looked around until his eyes settled on something that upset him.

"What?" I asked, turning. I saw blood. Lots and lots of blood. It was staining the concrete floor below us. There were dried puddles and splotches and streaks... "Oh God." My hand covered my mouth. Landon put his arm around my middle. "It might not be his. Just-❞

A hacking coughing sound interrupted him. It went on, and something in my chest fluttered. Was it him? It sounded like him. Please let it be him...

I took off running, and Landon called after me. The stairs groaned under me, but I couldn't even pretend to care. My feet hit the floor, and I ran faster. Landon had no issues keeping up with me as I found stairs leading down to another level. The room I was in was also made of concrete, floors and walls. From the outside, the building looked much smaller than it appeared to be from the inside. I blamed the emptiness for that. Either way, it made the place feel eerie, and I didn't like the idea of my brother being here. The windows so dirty that it made the room dark, but not dark enough to not see Jaxon.

I made a sound. It was like choking and whimpering and crying all at the same time. I was looking at Jaxon. He was chained to a wall, and he was coughing like hell, but he was alive.

I ran to him. I hit the floor and scraped my knees as I slid up to him. My hand went to his shoulder, and I stared at his closed eyes. "Jax!"

His eyes peeled open, and he coughed again, staring up and not looking like he was seeing anything. "Lala?" He looked so weak. He was covered in blood, but I couldn't see a single wound on him.

"Jax," I cried as Landon knelt beside me. "I'm so, so sorry. This is all my fault."

He struggled, but he sat up. I leaned him against the wall. "Don't cry," he breathed. "Please don't cry."

Tentatively, I hugged him. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again. Have you been here the whole time?"

When we parted, Landon took the knife from my pocket and started picking at Jaxon's locks. He eyed the vampire. "Who's this?"

Figures. "His name is Landon. Be nice. He's been taking care of me."

Landon nodded. "You seem far too well for the condition you're in."

Jaxon let out a sigh. "I don't know what the fuck is happening to me. People have dragged me all around the damn place. They've been beating the hell out of me. Then they forced this red shit on me. It smells like blood, and it makes me feel

all messed up. I think they're drugging me or something. I pass out, and I wake up, and I'm not in pain anymore. I don't know what they're doing to me, La."

I looked at Landon, whose face was carefully put together. "Jaxon," he said slowly, looking up. "Do you know anything about the men who've taken you?"

He shook his head. "No. But they'll be back soon. They come at night."

I swallowed air. "Jaxon, I'm about to tell you something that you won't believe, but you need to."

Landon didn't even let me finish. He brought his fangs out. "Monsters are real. I'm a vampire, you've been fed vampire blood that heals you, and demons are responsible for this."

I glared hard.

"Sorry, love, but we don't have time for sugar."

"Love..." my brother said with disgust as a cuff was unlocked. "How about you knock that shit off and not go digging around my teenage sister's pockets, huh?"

Landon rolled his eyes. The man had had his mouth on most of my body. Putting his hand in my pocket was nothing.

"So," I said, "you believe him?"

"How can I not? Pointy is sporting some major fang over here." He gestured.

Landon smiled, and his fangs were gone. "I see where she gets it. Though she pulls off the attitude better than you do."

Jaxon scoffed. "She wishes."

"Is he always like this?" Landon asked.

"Yes, yes I am." My brother smiled. "Why were you both so cool with your hand down her pants?"

"Well..." Landon grinned. "...when a boy and a girl love each other very much..."

I smacked him for that. "Maybe save that for later, huh, sweetie?"

"Sweetie..." Jaxon said under his breath. "What the fuck did I miss?"

"A lot." Landon broke him free of his other cuff. "Can you walk? Or run?"

"I don't know. Where are we going?"

"Anywhere but here. I imagine we'll need to go far. I'll get you somewhere safe before I leave."

My chest hurt again. How could he still want to go?

We stood Jaxon up, and it was an effort for him. They must be giving him the bare minimum of blood. He got an arm over my shoulder, and Landon helped me move him.

I had hope. Real hope for just a few minutes. Everything was fine again. I should have known it wouldn't last.

Once we were back up the stairs, everything came crashing down.

We were back in the bloody room. Jaxon was limping, even with Landon and me helping him walk. He needed somewhere safe to hide until he was healed.

"We can bring him to a hotel," Landon said. "You two should stay there for a week or so. Just until it's safe."

Jaxon looked at me. "Any reason Hot Shot over here is so keen on ditching us? They after him too?" "Landon has commitment issues," I said sharply. "He'd rather be alone than risk feeling something." Jaxon eyed him. "What the fuck is going on?"

"Nothing," Landon lied. "But you and I are going to need to have a talk later."

"If you're asking for my sister's hand in marriage, I will shoot you."

I scoffed. "Don't worry about that. He's not the marrying kind."

Landon looked at me mournfully. Also, I didn't know how the hell he was planning on explaining how he knew about the scars without revealing that he had seen me without a shirt on. I'd never wore anything that might have shown them. I could see doors out. I could see freedom. And it ended right there. Four men came in, and I couldn't tell what they were. The sun was down, and they heard us from outside, so I guessed vampire. The boys cursed as we all readied for a fight. Jaxon could barely stand, but he was trying. A wounded human, a girl, and a vampire against four men that were most certainly not human.

We were screwed.

The man that came after Landon had a gun, but he wasn't going for it. He tried to throw a punch, but Landon dodged; instead he grabbed the man and threw him into a wall. Another was going after him.

That left two for Jax and me.

"Run," my brother ordered me. "Just go!"

I didn't. I wasn't about to leave either of them here. I was going for my knife when I'd been grabbed. A man's arms wrapped around me, restraining and choking me.

Jaxon whirled around and punched the man in the side of the head. His grip loosened enough that I could break away from him. My knife was in my hand in a moment, and I put it in the man's side. "Holy fuck, Mila!" my brother yelled. He had no clue what had happened to me since he'd been taken. I'd have to worry about that later.

The man went down, but he wasn't dead yet. I didn't need to worry about that for a while.

Landon was breaking the neck of a man when my eyes swept the room. Suddenly there were two men on my brother. He was being dragged away. Taken from me again. I couldn't let that happen.

I ran to him, not sure how I was going to get him from two men that were not only bigger than me, but a hundred times stronger. It didn't matter. I had to try.

Two shots. Only two shots got out before Landon ran to the man on the ground and stepped on his throat hard enough to break his neck. I almost didn't notice.

Blood blossomed on the fabric of my shirt. I looked down at my stomach, and there was a hole in my shirt. How did...

I fell hard to the ground, my head cracking against the concrete. My name was being screamed, but all I could hear was ringing. Black spots appeared all over my vision, but I could still see. It was like slow motion: Jaxon being dragged off, the middle of his chest bleeding. No. It had to have been from me. My blood flew onto him, and I was coughing up more of it. He was fine. He had to be fine.

The men that were dragging him didn't look wounded, so where had the other bullet gone? It had to be somewhere. The wall. It had to have hit the wall. My vision was just too blurry to see it. Jaxon was fine, and the wall had gotten hit.

I felt like I was being lifted, but all I could do was watch my brother as I was fading away. Landon was biting his wrist, and he was watching my brother.

Jaxon... his eyes were fearful on me. There were only a couple seconds, but he looked at the both of us.

"Help him," I cried to Landon.

He ignored me and pressed his bleeding wrist to my mouth. Blood rushed into my mouth, but I couldn't swallow. I coughed, and it sputtered, and I wasn't going to be awake much longer.

I whimpered against Landon. I watched Jaxon's eyes turn to glass, and the men dragged him off. He went through a door, and he was gone. I'd had him... I'd had him and he'd been okay... He'd been okay, and now he was nothing. Gone and

his heart wasn't beating.

"Drink!" Landon yelled at me.

He hadn't saved him. He'd let my brother die so that he could save me. I didn't want it. I had nothing without my brother. Why would he save me just so that I could be all alone. I'd rather be...

I'd rather...

Rather...